User blog:Owenandheatherfan/(S2) Round 7, Pt. 3: Critiques
Welcome, ladies. It's time for the judges' critiques. First up is April Showers. Morphine: This challenge was up to your own interpretation, but it had to be inspired by the Cell Block Tango. This is kind of a match, but it's not a humorous or interesting. You have a couple strange grammatical errors - one cannot "relocate" on a memory. Saying things like "he hurted me", he "cho-ked me", etc. makes me feel like I'm reading anime porn. "Uwu master d-d-don't h-h-hurt me...cWc". Your submission did not kill this week - rather, it felt like murder. As for your runway, painting gears on your face doesn't really make the look steampunk. I think this is a very pretty look and it DOES follow the theme, but some of the other girls left your look in the dust. I think it could be elevated by some extra nail designs or some more makeup. Overall, it feels slapped together. Matt: So I don’t really get whether the narrator in the challenge thing was supposed to be like, an adult baby, or some kind of racist stereotype of an Asian woman, but honestly your submission kinda gave me bad vibes. I really don’t like the sexy baby talk thing. Babies are inherently pretty unsexy to me. Also, I have an Uncle Charlie, so I don’t appreciate all of this slander and murder towards him. As far as your runway goes, why does she have a gun? Guess that’s steampunk. While I like what you did there, I feel like you could have done some more. The face stuff is cool though, it’s like Edward in Twilight. Next up is Cosima Eclipse. Morphine: Cosima, I really enjoyed reading your challenge submission. It cut to the chase and got straight to the point. Your story is full of irony, like crashing into a funeral home and dying, as well as plenty of badassery and humor - "I wasn't gold, I went platinum". Your runway is glamorous and fun, and it definitely reads steampunk to me. We have similar aesthetics, which I can appreciate - you are a demon angel (not angle) sent from the dark side of the moon - but what else is there to see within Cosima? I want to push you to brand yourself more next week and let us see something uniquely you. Matt: So, honestly, all that I can think about are the plot holes in the story. Logical inconsistencies. This definitely says more about me than it does your submission, but I’m the judge so I do what I want. Why marry a super old guy if your plan is just to kill him? At that point, you might as well just wait it out. And really, what are the odds she would have no clue what his job is? They’re married, seems unlikely. Overall, though, I found it well-written, if short, and I especially enjoyed your descriptions of the character’s body language throughout the story, like “brushing the thought away” and shit. With your runway, you seemingly go super hard in the android direction, which I’m a fan of. Kinda an evil looking android lady. Nice. I like the glove/gauntlet deals best. Next up is Deluxxa Dission. Morphine: I have to start this off by saying the framing device of your challenge, writing in the present tense mixed with the past tense was hard to read. If we look past that, I think your story had a good concept. The concept was full of irony, which I loved, and the "One - Two - THREE!" was powerful. Very quality submission, but I advise you to edit some more. Like, a lot more. As for your runway, I love the earrings and stoned fishnets, but the black dress, hair, and goggles do not sell it for me. I think you're playing it very safe, and this late in the game, being safe means you're in the bottom. Go big or go home, baby. Matt: I like the story you told here. Unlike one of the other judges (whose name I shall not say), I am intelligent enough to appreciate your use of both past and present tense in the story, and I appreciate that you take a stand against date rape. What a bold ideological statement that is, to say that date rape is bad. Wowsers. Your runway was fine, I guess, but ultimately it didn’t strike me as particularly interesting or special when compared to your opponents. Take some risks with your outfits, like your anti-rape stance, and you should do well in the future. Next up is Lenta Cottura. Morphine: I give you a standing ovation. Your challenge submission was creative, flowed extremely well with the music, and just...was stellar, I don't have anything else to say. You killed it. Your runway reads steampunk very well to me, and I enjoy the makeup and shoes. The outfit in itself is pretty solid. Even grading your runway, I couldn't take my mind off your submission. You sent it last, a few minutes late, but it was well worth the wait because you were the grand finale. I bought a ticket to the show, liked what I saw, and when I walked out, all I could think about was Lenta Cottura bringing the house down. Amazing job. Matt: I liked your song well enough, though I feel like at some points the lines were a bit too crowded syllabically. The lyrics themselves were good and told a fine story, and I liked the little funny wink ending thing. I like the vast majority of your outfit, with the shoes especially seeming to fit the steampunk theme very nicely, though I question the steam punkitude of that uh… body… outfit… piece. Like, the torso part. Fuck. Whatever. Overall a good job but not without some flaws. Next up is LoRenn Rimmer. Morphine: Your challenge submission...was a wild ride. I did not understand what this challenge was supposed to actually entail from the description, so seeing your submission first gave me a bit of understanding. I enjoyed your poetry and thought that every line landed, minus a few grammatical errors. What really got me was the absolutely random final two stanzas about PUSSY POISON. That killed me! You know I love a good poisoning, girl. As for your runway, I actually think it was the best in show. This is what branding looks like - you have your own unique art style and you've been using it since the beginning of the game. This look represents steampunk - you have the robotic boot contrasting the fishnets, you have that tophat with the clock in it, you have the goggles - everything about this screams winner to me. Fantastic job, LoRenn. You're one of very few girls in this game to master branding, and I'm buying what you're selling. Matt: Ah, yes. Pussy poison. The classic weapon of an empowered woman. Not only did you make sure that he prioritized your pleasure over his own, but you fuckin’ killed his sorry ass. Now, ma’am, I know this Kevin guy may not have treated you right, but I assure you I would be the gentleman that you deserve. Now, despite my love of the concept of “pussy poison”, I do think that chorus was kinda a cop-out song-writing wise. Probably funny enough to make up for it, but just sayin’. Your runway really turns me on, metaphorically, and reminds me of a lady wrestler I’m quite fond on with a similar gimmick. Top notch work in that regard. Next up is Mia Mann. Morphine: You didn't submit your challenge, so I have to give you a zero on that. As for your runway, I'm not really sure what you were trying to do. I think this is a nice attempt at steampunk, but this would only pass if you were a brand new drag queen without many dresses and accessories to go off of - not someone who is on RoPaul's Drag Race. Matt: No challenge, no problem. Except, like, it’ll affect your chances of winning the challenge. Makes it quite low, actually. Additionally, your runway is a bit minimalistic compared to some of the other contestants’. I like it decently, but I feel like the effort isn’t really there. You need to Step Up 2: The Streets if you wanna stay in this competition, and what you did this week is simply not gonna cut it. Finally, world ♡ princess. Morphine: Your challenge submission was hilarious, and the format of your submission is very unique. It's nice to see you submitting this week. I do have to say though, that even though this submission is hilarious and does technically fit the requirements of the challenge, this felt more like your roast...that you didn't submit last week. I think it's creative, but it feels a little off topic. Runway? Absolutely stunning. This is a great example of branding, which I'm being hard on this week, because in the final seven, if you don't have a brand, you don't have a win in my book. My only negative critique of this is that it doesn't really read steampunk outside of your mask, which in its own way reads warrior princess rather than steampunk princess. It's glamorous, it's pretty, but it's not very steampunky. Matt: Due to the shittiness of my own computer, I wasn’t able to see your challenge submission for myself for some reason. Anyway, your runway... While I do think it’s cool and all and I like it, I don’t see it as fitting the steampunk theme. I don’t know how much that should factor into my judging here, but it doesn’t seem like you go for it too hard. Again, the outfit is definitely one of the better ones in the field this week, so I can’t go at you too hard for that. Thank you, ladies, I think we've heard enough. While you untuck backstage, the judges and I will deliberate. Ladies, I've made some decisions. Lenta Cottura. Your rap delivered heavy metal. You're safe. world ♡ princess. Your video killed the drag superstars. You're safe. LoRenn Rimmer. Your runway was intoxicating. Condragulations, you are the winner of this week's challenge! You have won $3,500 of Innovative Eyewear from Bradley Kenneth. Cosima Eclipse. You hit the mark, but you were eclipsed by your competitors. You're safe. Mia Mann. Tonight was a drag. I'm sorry my dear, but you are up for elimination. Deluxxa Dission. You advertised deluxe, but what we got was standard. You're safe. April Showers. Tonight, there was rain on your parade. I'm sorry my dear, but you are up for elimination. Two queens stand before me! Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me and save yourselves from elimination. The time has come... for you to lip-sync... for your life! You have until 9:00 PM EST tomorrow. Good luck... and don't fuck it up. Category:Blog posts